Hug Your Baby: Baby's Abilities

Showing posts with label Baby's Abilities. Show all posts

"See, then Share" - Creating a Teachable Moment

Tara, a new home visiting nurse, arrived for her first home visit with Isabella, a brand new mom. Isabella is 18 years old, lives with her parents, and is a new single mom. Her baby was born full term and healthy. Isabella claims to "know nothing about babies" but glows with that enthusiasm (and rush of adrenalin) mother nature bestows on new parents.

Tara glances down at her worksheet. Wow, there is so much that could be covered at this important first visit. Do you have help while your husband is at work? Did the midwife tell you about back-to-sleep? Do you think that your baby can see your face? Tara's head spins as she wonders where to start.

Last week Tara completed The HUG continuing education class at her health department and is excited to integrate this information into her work as a home visiting nurse. She remembers that the teacher, Jan, said, "If you ever feel confused about what to do next, just See, then Share" the baby's behavior. Jan explained that Seeing the baby's behavior and Sharing that behavior with parents can create an important connection with new parents.

But first, Tara must "See". She worked hard at the workshop to gain new knowledge and skills in observing and interacting with newborns. She glances over at Isabella son, Mateo, and remarks, "Oh, I see he's in the Ready Zone. He looks ready to play with us."

Tara's right. Mateo's eyes are bright, his body is rather still, and his breathing is calm and regular. As his mother reaches for her Diet Coke, Mateo follows her with his eyes.

"Oh, I see that he is watching you right now," Tara exclaims. Isabella notices what Tara means and quickly joins the game. She tilts her head slowly in the other direction, and Mateo tracks right after her. "You nosey little man!" Isabella laughs as she picks up her son.

About that time Tara notices Mateo start to change. His eyes drift down, away from his mother's face, and he gets a bit pale. His chin tremors and his body stiffens a bit. "Oh, do you think I've bored him already?" Isabella asks.

But Tara is quick to remember what she just learned from class. "Oh, no," she gently explains. "Mateo is just showing a little SOS, or Sign of Over-Stimulation. That's really normal for new babies. Hey, let's swaddle him for a minute and see what happens."

Isabella is surprised to see that when swaddled a few minutes, Mateo is able to look back toward his mother; he even turns in her direction when she whispers his name.

"Wow, you're so smart! I'm going to take take super-good care of you!" mother giggles with Mateo in her arms. Isabella snuggles with her baby as Tara covers a few of the important questions from her notes. Seeing, then Sharing this baby's behavior created a teachable moment that every nurse longs for!

© HUG Your Baby 2019

Can My Baby Really See?

The nurse is delighted by the new father's interest and attention to his little one. She reminds Dad that though a baby can see up close almost as well as an adult, infant eyes move more slowly. So she steadies Dad's hand as he holds the rattle 10 inches from the baby's face. Together they move the rattle slowly as Eric attends to the toy. When the baby's eyes hesitate and drop off the rattle, she and Dad stop the movement. Then Eric's eyes seem to catch on again. Now Dad and the nurse inch the ball over a second time as Eric looks on.

The nurse also shows Dad how to vary the sound of the rattle to keep Eric's attention. Since babies have the ability to ignore repeating, overwhelming stimulation (habituation or the "Shutting Down" SOS), varying the cadence of the rattle keeps a baby interested. Eric likes what Dad is doing now.

In another few seconds Dad notices Eric start to get a bit red in the face; he also sees his son's breathing pick up. "That's one of those SOSs!," Dad exclaims. "I think he's done showing off right now." Dad cuddles Eric closely and speaks quietly into his ear. The baby's color returns to normal and his breathing slows down as he melts into his father's arms.

Babies do have remarkable abilities to see and can see their parent's face at birth! Research shows that at only four hours old, a baby can even pick her mother out of a lineup of women's photos! However, it is normal for babies to hesitate as they engage with and follow an object. Human faces are especially attractive to babies. They seem programmed to respond to the contrasting colors, curves, and movement of a parent's face.

Babies who are born early, or who are more fragile, may have normal vision but not yet be able to orient as fully to a toy or to Dad's face as Eric can. The nurse may notice that such a baby only gets still and quiet when a rattle is shaken. But she know that this, too, is normal. Watching for those SOSs, and giving extra support with swaddling, will help some babies orient easier. Surprisingly, some babies who are not yet able to look at a toy may simply lift their chin toward the object as proof that "I get it! I can't do it right now, but soon I will!"

The nurse loves to finish an encounter with a family by helping the parent experience a baby's attention to his parent's voice. The nurse holds the baby as Dad calls Eric's name. Dad is surprised and delighted to see the baby turn toward him and look him in the face.

This young father is reassured to see how attending to the rate and rhythm of the "rattle game" and responding to his son's SOSs helps Eric pay attention to the wonderful world around him--and Dad feels even more connected to the newest member of his family.

© HUG Your Baby 2017

"I LOVE, but do not LIKE, my Baby"

I was rather shocked by the perspective of the young mother referred by my colleague, Gale. "Gale thought you could help me out," the young woman explains.

Lizzie was Samantha and Sarah's second baby. She was healthy and full-term. Labor and delivery had gone well, breastfeeding was successful, and Samantha had two months of maternity leave. "What could be that wrong?" I wonder.

"She fusses all the time!" Samantha explains as she lays the baby on the exam table. "See, like now! Hear her making all those grumpy sounds! I love, but sometimes, do not like my baby."

Lizzie is a robust, wide-eyed six-week-old. She is very busy in her movements as she wiggles and squirms on the exam table. Her level of activity is a wonder to behold. She seems to wind up a second, then one arm shoots out to the side, both legs kick upward, and she arches her back. She is also very busy with her vocalizing—a grunt here, a groan there, or was that a coo? The activity and sounds coming from her cute little body are normal and even entertaining to me. But her activity level and vocalizing seem to be off-putting to her mothers, who thinks Lizzie is fussing all the time.

"See Jessie there," Sarah says as she points to her four-year-old daughter coloring peacefully on the floor at our feet. "She is so calm and easy to be around. When Samantha and I decided to have a family we promised each other that we would have a peaceful household! But Lizzie just keeps on fussing," Sarah remarks as she hands me her baby.

Samantha and Sarah are describing a temperament difference in their children. The work by Thomas and Chess in the mid and late 1950's was important in confirming what all grandmas know: babies are born different one from another! Some are quiet and laid back, while another is busy and rather demanding. One is predictable while another is a surprise every minute. And a parent's own temperament makes it easier to "hang" with one kind of child than another. Certainly issues in a parent's own upbringing also impact their ease (or not) with a certain style or temperament. If a parent misunderstands a child's temperament or intention, problems in the developing parent-child relationship can begin and escalate.

What an opportunity and a challenge this moment is! Can I help this mother see her second daughter through a different lens? As usual, when I feel challenged by a patient encounter, I focus on and begin to describe the behavior of the baby. I demonstrate Lizzie's normal reflexes and get excited when she brings her hand to her mouth and begins to calm down. I pick up the end of my red stethoscope and engage the baby in a little game of following its movement with her eyes. Of course, I finish with the grand finale of having Samantha call out the baby's name. Lizzie hesitates only a moment before she turns toward her mother and—I believe she actually gives her a wink!

Samantha giggles and scoops up the baby from my arms as I discuss this high, but normal, level of activity and vocalizing. We talk about how each baby has a special temperament and style, right from birth. "Her body activity and enjoyment of vocalizing are part of Lizzie's inborn personality," I explain. Both Samantha and Sarah smile as Samantha gives Lizzie a hug. “I guess she’s just a real go-getter,” Sarah responds.

Lizzie is three years old now. Every time she and her family come to the clinic to see Gale, they stop by and say hello to me. "Lizzie's not really fussy anymore," Samantha explains. "But she's still a busy and noisy little gal!" Lizzie runs down the hall ahead of her mom, who laughs out loud as sister Jessie squeals in pursuit.

© HUG Your Baby 2019

"I don't think my baby can see!"

The young father has come to all the childbirth classes and is determined to help his baby grow and develop as best he can. "But, he won't look at his rattle," the dad reports, as he quickly moves the toy back and forth in front of the baby's eyes. "On that film you showed us I saw a baby look at his rattle. So what's wrong with Eric?" Dad asks.

The doula is delighted by the new father's interest and attention to his little one. She reminds Dad that though a baby can see up close almost as well as an adult, infant eyes move more slowly. So she steadies Dad's hand as he holds the rattle 10 inches from the baby's face. Together they move the rattle slowly as Eric attends to the toy. When the baby's eyes hesitate and drop off the rattle, she and Dad stop the movement. Then Eric's eyes seem to catch on again. Now Dad and the doula inch the ball over a second time as Eric looks on.

The doula also shows Dad how to vary the sound of the rattle to keep Eric's attention. Since baby's have the ability to ignore repeating, overwhelming stimulation (the "Shutting Down" SOS), varying the cadence of the rattle keeps a baby interested. Eric likes what Dad is doing now.

In another few seconds Dad notices Eric start to get a bit red in the face; he also sees his son's breathing pick up. "That's one of those SOSs!," Dad exclaims. "I think he's done showing off right now." Dad cuddles Eric closely and speaks quietly into his ear. The baby's color returns to normal and his breathing slows down as he melts into his dad's arms.

Babies do have remarkable abilities to see and can see their mother's face at birth! Research shows that a four-hour-old baby can even pick her mother out of a lineup of women's photos! However, there is a normal hesitancy with most babies as they engage with and follow an object. They are especially attracted by the human face. They seem programmed to respond to the contrasting colors, curves, and movement of a parent's face.

Babies who are born early, or who are more fragile, may have normal vision but not yet be able to orient as fully to a toy or to Dad's face as Eric can. The doula may notice that such a baby only gets still and quiet when a rattle is shaken. But she know that this, too, is normal. Watching for those SOSs and giving extra support with swaddling or letting the baby suck a finger will help some babies orient easier. Surprisingly, some babies who are not yet able to look at a toy may simply lift their chin toward the object as proof that "I get it! I just can't do it right now!"

Eric's dad is reassured to see how attending to the rate and rhythm of this play, responding to his son's SOSs, and offering a little extra support when needed helps Eric pay attention to and respond to the wonderful world around him--and Dad feel more connected to the newest member of his family.

© HUG Your Baby 2017

Safe Dogs and Safe Babies

I confess that I had not considered the importance of educating parents about the safety of dogs and babies until I encountered the work of Dogs and Storks. This organization does a wonderful job teaching parents to read a dog's body language and use this infomation to teach children to connect safely to their family pet. This work incorporates HUG Your Baby's parent education resources which teach professionals and the parents they serve how to read the body languge of a newborn. I highly recommend that professionals and parents explore the information and wisdom of this remarkable organization which has discovered how to "Give a HUG" to both the family dog and their baby!

Jan Tedder, RN, FNP, Lactation Consultant, President of HUG Your Baby

I don't think my baby can see!

The young father has come to all the childbirth classes and is determined to help his baby grow and develop as best he can. "But, he won't look at his rattle," the dad reports, as he quickly moves the toy back and forth in front of the baby's eyes. "On that film you showed us I saw a baby look at his rattle. So what's wrong with Eric?" Dad asks.

The doula is delighted by the new father's interest and attention to his little one. She reminds Dad that though a baby can see up close almost as well as an adult, infant eyes move more slowly. So she steadies Dad's hand as he holds the rattle. Together they move the rattle slowly as Eric attends to the toy. When the baby's eyes hesitate and drop off the rattle, she and Dad stop the movement. Then Eric's eyes seem to catch on again. Now Dad and the doula inch the ball over a second time as Eric looks on.

The doula also shows Dad how to vary the sound of the rattle to keep Eric's attention. Since baby's have the ability to ignore repeating, overwhelming stimulation (the "Shutting Down" SOS), varying the cadence of the rattle keeps a baby interested. Eric likes what Dad is doing now.

In another few seconds Dad notices Eric start to get a bit red in the face; he also sees his son's breathing pick up. "That's one of those SOSs!," Dad exclaims. "I think he's done showing off right now." Dad cuddles Eric closely and speaks quietly into his ear. The baby's color returns to normal and his breathing slows down as he melts into his dad's arms.

Babies do have remarkable abilities to see. However, there is a normal hesitancy with most babies as they engage with and follow an object. They are especially attracted by the human face. They seem programmed to respond to the contrasting colors, curves, and movement of a parent's face. Research shows that a four-hour-old baby can even pick her mother out of a lineup of women's photos!

Babies who are born early, or who are more fragile, may have normal vision but not yet be able to orient as fully to a toy or to Dad's face as Eric can. The doula may notice that such a baby only gets still and quiet when a rattle is shaken. But she know that this, too, is normal. Watching for those SOSs and giving extra support with swaddling or letting the baby suck a finger will help some babies orient easier. Surprisingly, some babies who are not yet able to look at a toy may simply lift their chin toward the object as proof that "I get it! I just can't do it right now!"

Eric's dad is reassured to see how attending to the rate and rhythm of this play, responding to his son's SOSs, and offering a little extra support when needed helps Eric attend and respond to the wonderful world around him--and Dad feel more connected to the newest member of his family.

Read other articles on understanding and care of babies.
Discover The HUG DVD and Newsletters for new parents.
© HUG Your Baby 2011

"I'll play with my baby when he can play ball," the new dad says.

That's what Jerry, the husband of 28 year-old Elizabeth, said one afternoon at their first pre-natal visit. "All the baby does is eat and sleep that first year anyway, " Jerry explains.

Jerry is not alone in this view of a newborn. A study by Zero-to-Three asked new parents "at what age do you think babies can 'take in the world?" 61% of parents thought that a baby needed to be two- to three-months-old to notice the world around them.

The real truth is good news for you, Jerry (and for Elizabeth too!). Most babies can "play ball" (and actively engage in the world around them) as the tiniest of newborns. But parents need to notice a baby's special ways of approaching this ball game. (See DVD on playing with your newborn.)

Now, at the young family's first post-natal check-up, Jerry holds his newborn, Joey, and gazes intently into his eyes. I almost have to pry little Joey from his daddy's arms. In addition to the routine physical exam, I always love to take time to help parents appreciate some of the amazing capabilities of their baby.

As I hold Joey in front of me his eyes fix on mine. I slowly tilt my head to the side; Joey's eyes follow. As I move a bit more to the left, his eyes drop from my gaze. I hesitate a moment, and then he engages with me again. I'm not worried when I see his eyes jerk a bit as they move. (It will be a few weeks before they move continuously like grown-up's eyes.) "Wow!" Jerry says. "He can really pay attention!"

Then I pick up my little red ball. Joey stares at the ball differently than when he looked at my face It is normal for many babies to be more interested in a face, initially, than in an object. But I just jiggle the ball a second and Joey's eyes start to follow it as I slowly move it. When Joey starts to wiggle around, and his breathing increases, I recognize an SOS (Sign of Over-Stimulation). I hold his little hands gently against his chest, and his eyes immediately look intently at the ball again. Now he follows its movement from one side to the other.

"Yep! Like I thought," Jerry declares to all. "He's a star ball player already! It's my turn to play ball with him now!"

Read other articles on understanding and care of babies.
Discover The HUG DVD and Newsletters for new parents.
© HUG Your Baby 2009

Learning a foreign language: Baby Talk!

One joy I have had over the past two years is to receive short messages by phone or email from doulas, lactation specialist, nurses, and childbirth educators who are beginning to use The HUG with their clients. It's time we got together! And since a cup of tea at my house would be a stretch for us (today, anyway), let's share some of our HUG stories. I am now in the process of developing more training materials and your stories, questions, victories, and frustrations will help me pull together other materials and resources to benefit you in your day to day life with young families.

Expectant couples are understandably focused on birthing their bay, how to change a diaper, and how to take a temperature. But, do expectant couples understand they can learn to "Talk Baby Talk," learn to read a baby's body language? They wouldn't go to France without a dictionary, so why not learn the language of babies in preparation for parenthood? Maybe The HUG will act like a dictionary for Baby Talk!

The new HUG website is up and running. Give it a look-see and let me know how we can interest parents in learning the foreign language of their new baby!

Thanks for all you do!

Making Music with Babies

Dianne held her baby and swayed back and forth. She hesitated, moved, bounced, and wiggled as she listened to the music. No one watching would ever have imagined that music was playing. Dianne called herself “musically disabled” and I guess Erin agreed.

Erin teaches Baby Beethoven Classes and has weekly classes filled with energetic new moms who want to offer only the best to their babies. (www.welcome.to/erinpianostudio) They listen to music, learn songs for children, and discover toys and games from all over the world of music.

Mothers vary in their reasons for coming to class. Some love the company of other moms; others love music and can’t wait to have it be a part of their baby’s life. Some, like Dianne, hope that her “bad ear” has not been inherited by her daughter!

Lovely research has been done on a baby’s ability to hear. According to the results of a small UK study, children recognize and prefer music they were exposed to in the womb for at least a year after they are born. Most newborns will turn in the direction of sound, and by four months of age will reach for a musical toy even with the lights off. Newborns prefer music over noise. By six months they show a preference for music with common chords over uncommon ones. 2005 research from Cornell University showed that six-month-old babies could appreciate subtle variations in complex rhythm patterns of Balkan folkdance tunes as easily as can adult Bulgarian and Macedonian immigrants. Babies appreciate the feelings behind music too, as demonstrated by research with 6- to 10-month-olds who showed different responses to “sad” versus “happy” music.

Experts recommend the obvious: Sing and play music for a baby even in utero, make music a part of everyday life, clap baby’s hands to simple songs, and dance along.

Dianne has got the right idea. Making music a fun part of her daughter’s life will certainly enrich the life her daughter lives. "Maybe I'll even learn to dance on beat!" she laughs as she swirls her little one around the room.

Making a Difference - One Baby at a Time

Tara, the public health nurse, arrived for her first home visit with Sherri, a brand new mom. Sherri is 21 years old, lives with her parents, and is a new single mom. Her baby was born full term and healthy. Sherri claims to "know nothing about babies" but glows with that enthusiasm (and rush of adrenalin) mother nature bestows on new parents.

Tara glances down at her forms from the health department. Wow, there is so much that could be covered at this important first visit. Do you have enough oil for your furnace? Do you know about back-to-sleep? Did you start your birth control pills? Did you know that babies can see your face? Tara's head spins as she wonders where to start.

Last week Tara completed The HUG continuing education class at her health department and is excited to integrate this information into her already busy schedule. She remembers that the teacher, Jan, said, "If you ever feel confused about what to do next, just See and Share." Jan explained that Seeing the baby's behavior and Sharing that behavior with parents can create an important connection with new parents.

But first, Tara must "See". She worked hard at the workshop to gain new knowledge and skills in observing and interacting with newborns. She glances over at Sherri's son, Freddie, and remarks, "Oh, I see he's in the Ready Zone. He looks ready to play with us."

Tara's right. Freddie's eyes are bright, his body is rather still, and his breathing is calm and regular. As his mother reaches for her Diet Coke, Freddie follows her with his eyes.

"Oh, I see that he is watching you right now," Tara exclaims. Sherri notices what Tara means and quickly joins the game. She tilts her head slowly in the other direction, and Freddie tracks right after her. "You nosey little man!" Sherri laughs as she picks up her son.

About that time Tara notices Freddie start to change. His eyes drift down, away from his mother's face, and he gets a bit pale. His chin tremors and his body stiffens a bit. "Oh, do you think I've bored him already?" Sherri asks.

But Tara is quick to remember what she just learned from class. "Oh, no," she gently explains. "Freddie is just showing a little SOS, or Sign of Over-Stimulation. That's really normal for new babies. Hey, let's swaddle him a minute and see what happens."

Sherri had become an expert on swaddling in the hospital, so she confidently wraps her little one up. She is surprised to see that in this swaddled position, Freddie is able to look back toward his mother; he even turns in her direction when she whispers his name.

"Wow, you're so smart! I'm going to take take super-good care of you!" she giggles. Sherri cuddles her baby as Tara covers a few of the important questions on her form. Seeing and Sharing this baby's behavior created that kind of teachable moment that every nurse longs for!

"I'll Play With My Baby When He Can Catch a Ball!"

That's what Jerry, the husband of 28 year-old Elizabeth, said one afternoon at their first pre-natal visit. "All the baby does is eat and sleep that first year anyway, " Jerry explains.

Jerry is not alone in this view of a newborn. A study by Zero-to-Three asked new parents "at what age do you think babies can 'take in the world?" 61% of parents thought that a baby needed to be two- to three-months-old to notice the world around them.

The real truth is good news for you, Jerry (and for Elizabeth too!). Most babies can "play ball" (and actively engage in the world around them) as the tiniest of newborns. But parents need to notice a baby's special ways of approaching this ball game.

Now, at the young family's first post-natal check-up, Jerry holds his newborn, Joey, and gazes intently into his eyes. I almost have to pry little Joey from his daddy's arms. In addition to the routine physical exam, I always love to take time to help parents appreciate some of the amazing capabilities of their baby.

As I hold Joey in front of me his eyes fix on mine. I slowly tilt my head to the side; Joey's eyes follow. As I move a bit more to the left, his eyes drop from my gaze. I hesitate a moment, and then he engages with me again. I'm not worried when I see his eyes jerk a bit as they move. (It will be a few weeks before they move continuously like grown-up's eyes.) "Wow!" Jerry says. "He can really pay attention!"

Then I pick up my little red ball. Joey stares at the ball differently than when he looked at my face It is normal for many babies to be more interested in a face, initially, than in an object. But I just jiggle the ball a second and Joey's eyes start to follow it as I slowly move it. When Joey starts to wiggle around, and his breathing increases, I recognize an SOS (Sign of Over-Stimulation). [See blog article: Babies send out an SOS] I hold his little hands gently against his chest, and his eyes immediately look intently at the ball again. Now he follows its movement from one side to the other.

"Yep! Like I thought," Jerry declares to all. "He's a star ball player already! It's my turn to play ball with him now!"

Learning to Talk "Baby Talk!"

Debbie came to see me for a check up with Rebecca, her six-month-old daughter. Though I do not provide prenatal care, I had seen this mother a number of times during her pregnancy. She described herself as "a worrier” and wanted to discuss with me the things she was worried about or the things she might find worrisome in the future. I realized that Debbie was at significant risk for post-partum depression and wanted to keep a close eye on her when the baby was born.

I meet Rebecca when she was only a few days old. She had newborn jaundice and was struggling to wake up to nurse. Debbie was determined to succeed with breastfeeding so was open to any ideas which might help. From my first visit with Rebecca, I focused on helping Debbie tune into what “Rebecca is telling us.” Debbie and I watched together as Rebecca “told us” about her sleep cycles and how she could be aroused from active/light sleep but not quiet/deep sleep. (See http://www.hugyourbaby.com/sleeping.html to tell sleep cycles apart) Debbie learned to read her daughter’s SOSs (Signs of Over-Stimulation) and to tell when Rebecca needed a rest or could handle more interaction and play. (See http://www.hugyourbaby.com/skills.html for tips on SOSs)

Debbie taught me something very important. The more a mom learns to read her baby’s body language, the less she will worry. This mother, who had worried and suffered much during her pregnancy, never did develop post-partum depression. Instead, she learned to read her daughter's "body talk," and she gained confidence as a mom while learning to do so. At our last visit Debbie summed it up this way: “I worried a lot when she was inside of me. It’s easier to have her on the outside telling me just how she is doing.” And, Rebecca seemed to say, “Gee, Mom, I’m doing great!”

The Baby Looks "Out of It"

The young woman felt on the verge of tears. She had just watched the new video from the Guatemalan orphanage where her soon-to-be-adopted eight-month-old was now living. Though the government papers were promised to be complete in "just" three more months, Tonya worried that by then it would be "too late" for her to bond with her baby.

On Tonya's trip to Guatemala, she had met Sofia, a beautiful, robust six-month-old. The baby had watched attentively as Tonya reached out to take her from the caretaker's arms. Sofia had playfully pulled Tonya's hair and had giggled when the new mother had shaken the purple and green rattle she'd brought from Kansas. Sofia seemed ready to take on a new mom, and Tonya was sure ready for her baby.

But the new video had troubled Tonya. Sofia had looked slightly frightened as the camera lens captured the caregiver lifting her from the crib. The bulky camera equipment and the hustle and bustle of several camera people seemed to cause Sofia to look "out of it," Tonya had told her friend and mentor at the local school of nursing.

The nursing professor was reassuring as she explained how newborns and even older children can protect themselves from overstimulation with a temporary "shutting down" maneuver. The professor had just taught a class about the normal coping strategies children have and how these actions can signal a baby's competencies rather than deficiencies. She sent the new mom a DVD which depicted these very behaviors in hopes that Tonya would be reassured. (See: www.hugyourbaby.com)

Tonya called several days later to report that she had looked at the DVD and then at the Guatemalan video again. She had noticed that as the filming progressed Sofia snuggled close to her caregiver and smiled up affectionately at her. Of course, Tonya knew that there would still be questions to ask about the bonding process of an adopting family, but today she felt more confident. Sofia would use her body language to show her new mom how to make those new and important connections, and Tonya was ready to learn!

A Teen and Her Baby

It saddened me when I walked into the room. Carrie, a sixteen-year-old new mom, was gazing out the window - at nothing in particular. Just gazing out, not looking in, or over at the baby in the room. Grandma sat beside the exam table and patted the back of three-week-old Ricky, a healthy, full-term guy who appeared to be under the watchful care of his grandmother. I asked questions about the delivery and feeding. I commented on the little one's abundance of hair and his sweet nose. I mused over the wonder of a new baby. But Carrie still glanced out the window, unengaged by the swirl of attention her newborn was receiving.

Ricky began to squirm on the exam table, wrinkle up his face, and hover on the verge of changing from a calm to a fussy baby. As he wiggled he seemed, quite by accident, to hit the side of his face with his fisted hand. This movement triggered his in-born rooting reflex. His tiny mouth opened wide and clamped down on his first and second finger. He started to suck.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Look how smart you are to get that finger in your mouth all by yourself!"

Carrie was jolted by my enthusiastic response. She pushed her chair a few inches away from the window and turned her head a full 20 degrees in our direction.

I chatted on in my nurse-to-baby style, next noticing Ricky's eyes turning to focus on me. "My goodness! You heard my voice and turned right toward me! What other amazing tricks do you have?"

Carrie eased toward the exam table and, now, glanced down at Ricky. Her son demonstrated an amazing ability to get to and stay in that Ready Zone. His eyes were bright, his movements relaxed, and his shoulders dropped in an "I'm-ready-for-the-next-event" kind of look.

I picked up Ricky and encouraged Carrie to call his name. She did, at first tentatively, but with a bit more gusto after some encouragement. As I expected, Ricky slowly turned in his mother's direction, and then he looked into her face, contentedly.

A smile crept over Carrie's face as she looked down at her child. With some hesitation she received the newborn I gently placed in her arms. Carrie surprised me when she put her nose into Ricky's face and nuzzled for a moment. Ricky seemed to tilt toward his mom and into an awkward, but warm, cuddle.

Helping this new and fragile mom appreciate her baby's effort to connect made my day. "He's a real person," Carrie whispered.

"Yes, and he knows his real mother," I responded. Now, I didn't feel so sad.

Listening to your Baby Talk!

Baby ZORRO and his Sword Fighting!

Chris was two weeks old and already seemed like a rambunctious boy to his parents! He was always "on the go." He would wiggle when Mom would bring him to the breast to nurse. An arm might shoot out, a foot jerk, and his mouth would move quickly from side to side as Mom tried to get him to nurse. He was sure to squirm on Dad's shoulder and bobble his head up and down as Dad did his burping duty. Lie him on his back to rest and both arms would splay out in a startle and his feet would start pumping as if he were leading a baby aerobics class. Chris was always moving!

When Chris would get upset, he would sometimes do the oddest thing. His arms and legs would pump a moment, then all of a sudden he would turn his head toward the right and look like he was taking up sword fighting. He would extend his right arm and leg, and flex his left leg and arm. This sword fighting position would seem to calm him down. From this position Chris could watch his own hand move and practice his eye-hand coordination. He might even pull his hand to his mouth to comfort himself from this position.

This position is technically called the "Fencing Reflex." It lasts in babies until they are 3-6 months old. Because the newborn's neck muscles are still strengthening and the back of the head is round, many babies will tend to tilt their head to the side when on their back. The majority of babies turn toward their right, which some suggest is caused by (or leads to) more right-handed than left-handed children. Most righted-handed mothers hold their baby in their left arm which allows mom to use her right hand easier and encourages the baby to look up at mom as he turns naturally toward the right.

No one would say that Chris assumed the sword fighting position on purpose, but researchers are learning daily how newborn reflexes serve a purpose. When Chris's parents watch him successfully use this reflex, they are reminded once again how remarkable newborns are and how especially smart their little ZORRO is!

I'm All Ears!!

Regina and her friend, Rochelle, were both pregnant with their first babies. Regina had read about an experiment done with pregnant ladies and told Rochelle about it. They decided to try the experiment themselves.

During the last six weeks of their pregnancy Regina read The Cat in the Hat to her baby every evening. Rochelle read The King, the Mice, and the Cheese each day. Their babies were born within three weeks of one another.

Regina and Rochelle met for coffee to try out their "experiment."

Regina started by reading The King, the Mice, and the Cheese to her baby. The baby boy raised his eyebrows a bit when she started reading, but nothing more. Then she began to read The Cat in the Hat and her son got excited. His eyes got bright, his arms started to pump, and he looked around as though he were looking for "his" book.

Rochelle's baby was sucking her pacifier contentedly and seemed ready for her "experiment" to began. When Rochelle read The Cat in the Hat her daughter seemed to relax as if ready to drift right off to sleep. However, when her Mom began reading The King, the Mice, and the Cheese the baby girl alerted and increased the pace and intensity of her sucking. Her eyes widened with a wise "I-know-what's-going-on-around-here" look on his face. "That's MY book!" she seemed to say.

Babies hear both in utero and out. Other studies have shown how they will suck harder on a pacifier to hear a recording of their mom's voice vs. another woman's voice. They prefer to hear their family's language rather than a foreign language. They love that high-pitched, sing-songy voice grown-ups instinctvely seem to use with babies.

So the next time you are hanging out with a newborn--or with one on its way--just remember, "I'm all ears!"

Understanding your Baby’s Abilities

"Do you think my baby is retarded?" the mother of four-week-old Jeffrey asked.

I was surprised by her question. Jeffrey was born full term with no complications at birth. He was bright and alert, nursed immediately, and had regained his birth weight in only ten days.
Why do you ask?" I inquired.

"Because he just lies there!" Mom replied. She went on to explain that the other day she was playing in the living room with Jeffrey's four-year-old sister. Jeffrey awoke from his nap and began to cry. Mom called out to him as she put the Hi Ho Cheerios back in the box. "When I got to him, he was just lying there staring out the window."

Since babies can be our greatest teachers, I wanted to watch Jeffrey closely to find clues to understanding the behavior that worried his mom. Mom undressed her baby, and I began his check up. His eyes were fine, his heart was strong, and all other body parts were in working order! After I checked his hips he started to cry.

Instead of picking him up immediately, I began comforting measures one step at a time to see what really works for him. I leaned over Jeffrey and called his name softly for about ten seconds. To Mom's surprise, Jeffrey stopped crying as soon as he heard my voice.

He is so smart,'" I said, "that right now he calmed down by just hearing my voice. That must be what happened the other day when you called his name ."
Wow! He's not retarded." Mom said, "He is gifted and talented!!"

All babies will at times need lots of their parent's help to calm down. But occasionally try calming your baby with this step-wise approach:
1. Call his name softly.
2. Hold his hands against his chest.
3. Pick him up in a cuddle.
4. Give him something to suck.
5. Swaddle him.

This step-wise approach will help you learn what works best for your baby, and you will appreciate even more how very special your baby is! See video clips at http://www.hugyourbaby.com/calming.html for tips on calming a baby.

Put on a Happy Face

I met Terry for the first time when he was a mere four pounds, a healthy boy born a month early. He's now a curly-headed, four-month-old, who glows when he smiles.

When he was brought in for his four-month-old visit by his mother, Susan, I recalled a recent study I had read about babies this age. The article described a technique that is used to explore a baby's ability to tune in to the feelings of those around him. Terry's mom loves to learn all she can about her baby, so she was eager to try this experiment with me.

Mom sat on a stool in front of me and held her baby upright on her lap. I was standing behind Terry's mom, where I could clearly see Terry's face but not his mother's. I then asked Susan to make one of three faces: a sad face, a mad face, or a happy face. Susan smiled broadly at Terry. One look at his beaming face and I guessed correctly that Mom had on a happy face. A few seconds later Terry's lips moved downward in what I guessed correctly was an imitation of his mom's sad face. Then Terry's eyebrows went up and he almost blanched as his face grew stern when his mother put on her mad face, a face he rarely saw.

Both of us laughed at how quick a baby was to sense and respond to the moods around him. I was reminded once again why happy families have happy babies, and how sadness and anger within a family will change the affect of a baby as well.

Mom later told me that she showed her eight-year-old daughter this "trick." How proud her daughter was to show off her brother's "talent" to friends and neighbors alike!