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| Baby cuddles up with her "Lovie" |
The HUG Your Baby's Roadmap to Breastfeeding Success (now
available in English, Korean, Japanese, Italian and Spanish) makes mention of
“using a ‘lovie’” at nine months and at twelve months to help babies through
the developmental challenges of those time periods. (See Roadmap at bottom of blog).
Use
of a “lovie” may have cultural roots in countries like the USA, where maternity
leave is minimal, availability of extended families is limited, and returning
to work is necessary for most young mothers who have bills to pay. However,
this practice is grounded in well-established child development theories and is
offered as one possible “tool” for mothers wanting to extend breastfeeding
duration. (Additional critical steps to achieving the international goals for
exclusive breastfeeding are reviewed in other HUG Your Baby blogs.)
Child
development literature is conclusive that babies must have attentive,
responsive care from family during the first year of life so that the rapidly
growing brain develops to its full potential, laying the foundation for
lifelong, healthy emotional attachment and psychological growth. Learning to
read a baby’s feeding cues, to
notice early signs of over-stimulation, to
respond toinfant crying, and to appreciate a
baby’s active and deep sleep cycles are all important tasks of
sensitive parents who seek optimal parent-child attachment and want the best
for their child.
As a
securely attached baby approaches his first birthday, a parent will begin to
see proof of her baby’s important mental development. A mother might notice her
baby glance over to her or her partner when a neighbor picks up the baby—a
behavior that displays an important cognitive achievement called “social
referencing.” As months go by, “stranger anxiety” (also known as “separation anxiety”) replaces the more “polite”
social referencing. This baby now clearly knows that “those people
are my parents” but “you are not!”
By
nine months the baby initiates games that reflect a new surge in her mental
capacities. She squeals with delight when she drops a spoon and sees Mom retrieve it. She laughs uncontrollably when her brother plays “hide and seek,”
or she giggles triumphantly when her father plays “peek-a-boo.” These games
demonstrate the baby’s cognitive growth toward “object permanence”: the concept
that “things that go away can come back.” This developing object permanence
also contributes to increased stranger and separation anxiety.
The
work of Dr. T. Berry Brazelton helps us understand that a surge in a baby’s
cognitive, social or physical development typically causes temporary changes in
a baby’s eating, sleeping or general behavior. (CLICK HERE to learn more about his theory of Touchpoints).
Suddenly the world seems bigger to the young child, and thus, momentarily, a
bit more frightening too.
The
nine-month-old who had been sleeping through the night may now wake up more
often and cry for her parents. Parents who do not know about, and anticipate,
this normal change in development might believe the baby is hungry. If babies
have been sleeping five to eight hours at night without eating, they do not now
need more nighttime calories. Nevertheless, formula-feeding mothers might give
a new nighttime bottle and breastfeeding mothers might resume more frequent
nighttime breastfeeding.
Adding nighttime bottles and calories to the diet of a formula-fed baby can contribute to overfeeding and obesity. Though it is believed that breastfed babies[i] will not overeat, they may temporarily shift daytime calories to the nighttime if increased nighttime breastfeeding is offered.
Although
giving more calories at night is not necessary, some mothers prefer to use
breastfeeding to comfort her child. Certainly, breastfeeding is a source of
both nourishment and nurture for every child. However, other breastfeeding
mothers may be exhausted by the return of frequent nighttime awakenings, may
worry that they now have insufficient milk, and may even consider weaning.
This
is when the “lovie” can be useful.
Parents
can incorporate a small blanket or stuffed animal (i.e., a “lovie,” or "transitional object" in the professional jargon) into their
cuddles with the baby throughout the day. Within a few days the baby will
associate the closeness she feels with her parents with this sweet “lovie.”
Then, when the baby needs her parents at night, the mother or father can
comfort the child without feeding him by cuddling him up with his “lovie.”
After a week or so of more frequent night time awakenings, most children become
accustomed to the world of “object permanence” and resume their regular sleep
patterns.
The
next important Touchpoint, or developmental step, occurs when a
baby begins learning to walk (at around one year of age). Babies this age again show disruption in their eating, sleeping or general behavior
as they strive to become upright! The “lovie” can be used again to help comfort
this child back to sleep without adding nighttime feeds. Of course, increased
nighttime breastfeeding (as a comforting technique) may be the best option for
some, but not all, mothers.
Parents
who have chosen to add more nighttime feeds or breastfeeding might wonder how
to get back to a regular, daytime eating pattern. Every few days a formula-feeding mother can cut in half the amount of formula in each bottle and
incorporate the “lovie” into the nighttime feeding routine. A breastfeeding
mother can cut in half the duration of each nighttime feed, as well as use the
“lovie.” Usually, within a week or so, the baby will no longer require extra
calories at night. And after the developmental surges of separation
anxiety and learning to walk have passed, the baby can continue to use the
“lovie” to help him return to a good night’s sleep.
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The HUG Your Baby Roadmap to Breastfeeding Success suggests,
"Incorporate 'Lovie'" into breastfeeding routines at nine and twelve months. |
[i] Recent research suggests that babies fed pumped breast milk
mostly by bottles may run the same risks of overeating and obesity that apply
to formula-fed babies.