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| Staffing the HUG Your Baby table at ILCA 2013 |
This blog was written by Jan's husband, Jim Henderson, Ph.D.
Two days after I retired from Carolina Friends School, Jan and I left Durham on our current year of international travel and service. Her HUG Your Baby presentations in Asia Pacific have been better received than we dared to hope. In the process we have met many remarkable people (some of them newborns!) and have made new friends who are mostly midwives, nurses, and lactation consultants.
Two days after I retired from Carolina Friends School, Jan and I left Durham on our current year of international travel and service. Her HUG Your Baby presentations in Asia Pacific have been better received than we dared to hope. In the process we have met many remarkable people (some of them newborns!) and have made new friends who are mostly midwives, nurses, and lactation consultants.
As we travel
I’m finding more ways to be involved with HUG Your Baby work. Besides serving
as Jan’s editor, researcher, videographer, roadie, cheerleader and confidante—as
I’ve done for years—other avenues are opening up for me in and through the HUG
world.
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| Trying to coax a Thai gong to sing |
Music and
learning, seasoned by a dash of sports and exercise, are the enduring interests
of my adult life. Becoming a good husband and father remains the major source
of my adult identity. My growing involvement with HUG Your Baby builds on all
these passions.
As I think
about the possibilities of “retired” life, I’m excited about devoting more time
to music. Of course I will continue refining and marketing Ariel’s Way ; I believe in the value of this show.
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| "Dad's Got The HUG": Teaching about the role of fathers. |
But when I get back home I also plan to play
more saxophone than ever before. Musical collaborations with friends will
become easier to schedule and prioritize in “retirement” (which Don Wells
suggests is best understood as “rewirement”). On our current trip, working on
the HUGs Around the World Lullabies project has been great fun for Jan and me, and that work is
going to take some time to complete when we get home.
The musical
styles of the lullabies that Jan and I conceive reflect our experience of the
cultures we visit, and the lyrics we write clothe HUG concepts in the imagery
of places we’ve come to know. With Tony
Bowman’s capable help, this first lullaby is NOW ready to share. (Click Here to hear and see images of The HUG Hawaiian Lullaby.) The second
one—the Australian Lullaby—is gearing up for production. Japanese, Korean,
Balinese, and Malay lullabies are sketched out, and Jan and I have a good
approach in mind for a Thai lullaby.
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| Unexpected experiences at a Japanese midwifery school's lab |
Music is my
life’s chief creative outlet, but education has been my primary professional
focus. Reflecting on my life as an educator during our travels, I’ve become increasingly
interested in helping men prepare for fatherhood. The birth of our two sons—and
the ways I grew as a person through my years as a parent—stand out as the most
defining experiences of my entire life. I want to help other fathers (and
fathers-to-be) negotiate the passage to parenthood that has meant so much to me.
“Dad’s Got
The HUG” is the rubric under which I’ve begun to collect and present ideas
about fathering. Recently I’ve been teaching a piece of The HUG’s all-day
trainings, highlighting the role of fathers.
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| Giving a HUG on a Malaysian city bus |
Reviewing
fatherhood research as we travel, I’ve discovered some great resources and
programs in the English-speaking world. In America, the National Fatherhood Initiative is one.
Among the
many books I’ve seen, one of the best is TheBaby Owner’s Manual. Written by father-and-son team, Dr. Louis
Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht, it elaborates a humorous comparison between
babies and cars. Another good book, practical in a different sort of way, is The Fathers-To-Be Handbook by Patrick Houser, an American living in
the UK. Pat cites interesting research showing that simply giving future
fathers time to reflect on what kind of dad they want to be increases both
their satisfaction with fatherhood and their skills as parents.
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| A bloke with a "bub" enjoys a beer and a good book in Australia. |
CLICK HERE to see an interview I recently did with Ron Hastie, the male midwife who
teaches the Beer + Bubs sessions in Hobart, Tasmania. Ron worked for years as a
brick mason and a bartender before becoming a “delivery man” for babies later
in his adult life.
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| Teaching in Thailand |
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| Doing a voiceover for the UNC Family Medicine Resident Physician HUG training |
Dawson and
Sharon Cooke’s FamilyWorks in Perth,
Australia, is an excellent model of how to apply research on fathering in hands-on
sessions with parents.
Jan has a very
funny photo of her mentor, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, holding up a bumper sticker
that says, “Men who change diapers change the world.” If I can play a small part in changing the
world—one dad, one green or yellow or brown poop at a time—I’m hoping to find,
in years to come, a meaningful way to “rewire” (rather than “retire”) my skills
as an educator.
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| Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, Jan's greatest teacher and mentor about newborns, also advocates for social change. |